Something disturbing happened to me last week.

Wait. That’s not accurate.

I did something disturbing last week.

Yes. That’s better. I did something…

I promise this isn’t another column about scuba.

But.

Given my aquatic adventures of late, I am obsessed with two cinematic genres.

The first…

I’ve entered a new quadrant of the Willie Universe.

The likelihood that someone I know could wind up living in the apartment next to…

I think having kids made my life better.

Wait.

Do I? Yeah. Yes. I do. Made my life better, made me a better person. Yeah…

Is it possible to say I got Willied without it sounding sordid?

Because there was really nothing sordid about it.

It was, however, a typical…

I think scuba is a metaphor for life.

Also, I think scuba doesn’t really exist. Like the idea that humanity is just a simulation…

I was driving down Street Road in Bucks County recently when I saw —

Sorry. I have to take a deep breath or this story will…

So there I was, driving eight hours to drop off my kid at camp.

Then driving eight hours home by myself.

Three days later, I…

So my kid is at sleepaway camp.

Yep. I drove through four states to leave my kid with strangers for five days.

Are you guys…

I turned the lock on the storm door.

You know the one — it won’t engage without a forceful inward jerk, an even more forceful…

What do the new Indiana Jones movie, my spiraling refrigerator, and Indy’s Maryland property have in common?

The answer is a story and then…

Now that my husband is all Buddy the Elf about making friends in his outdoors organization, I have met many people.

Many, many people.

I…

It’s been a bit since we had a Willie story.

We should probably check in on her.

Our check-in begins this morning, when…

When I last left you, I had saved my fridge but decimated the freezer.

But I made a bet I could save that freezer. And…

One day in 2017, Indy pulled my fridge from its kitchen nook.

I was in trouble.

Upon discovering my failure to periodically clean behind and…

I fly to Scotland in 72 hours. Sealed in a metal tube 30,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean. 

Where the Titanic sank.

You know…

The dead mouse was bad enough.

But the critter situation is so much worse than one long-dead mouse in the crawl space.

You might…

I made a gruesome discovery last week.

It was Friday. The day yawned beautifully before me.

Nothing hinted at the evil lurking in the hours…